Live slower in a speed obsessed world

Remember You Are Dust…

February 22, 2012

…and to dust you shall return.

This is what is often said as ashes are traced in the sign of a cross at Ash Wednesday services across the world today. I pretty much love the whole practice: the symbolism, the solemnity, the solidarity with strangers on the street who have a big cross-shaped smudge on their foreheads, too.

I’m fasting today — and yes, I did enjoy a juicy bison burger and a big glass of shiraz last night. It feels a bit strange that I’ll be going off to Spain to celebrate a wedding right as Lent begins, but I shall suffer through it. (Ha.)

I know quite a few people who aren’t Christians who observe Lent. They appreciate having a season to look inward, build new habits, simplify, and give more generously to others. How about you? Do you observe Lent? Are you doing anything special or new this year to make it meaningful?

Image found here

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Shrove Tuesday

February 21, 2012

When I was growing up, today was called Shrove Tuesday, but it’s also called Fat Tuesday, Mardi Gras, and Carnival. Historically it’s marked by parades, costumes, gatherings, dancing, and lots of feasting — a last hurrah before the solemn 40-day season of Lent begins.

My current plan for the next 12 hours: Have a little of everything I’ll be swearing off for the next six weeks, like alcohol, chocolate, sweets, and treats. We fast from meat on Fridays during Lent and focus on simpler meals and fewer nights out, so maybe I should indulge in a favorite burger (bison with gorgonzola cheese and caramelized onions!) at a local restaurant.

I have a tradition of making pancakes, but I’m not sure I’ll do that today…depends on what B’s in the mood for. Of course, one look at this and it’s hard not to break out the flour, eggs, and cream:

Are they not to die for?

If I do make pancakes, they might just have to be Pioneer Woman’s sour cream pancakes — they’re divine and seem just right for today.

Or, instead of gorging on tall, fluffy rounds of scrumptiousness, I could don a mask of sequins and feathers, along with a dazzling black evening gown, and head off to the best champagne masquerade ball in town. Alas, I don’t know anywhere this is really happening except in my head.

Do you celebrate Shrove Tuesday or Mardi Gras? If so, what are your traditions?

Images: 1 & 2

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Adoption Update

February 20, 2012

I haven’t written an update on our adoption for some time.

<insert sounds of crickets here>

Yup, I’ve got nothing for you. Nada. Zippo.

No real news, anyway. March 5 will mark 29 months of waiting — 2 years and 5 months since we were officially placed on our agency’s waiting list. As I like to point out, that was after all the annoying, redundant, confusing paperwork was finished, which took about six months. Then there was the three-month wait for our immigration approval — the piece of paper you need before going on the waiting list.

Much has happened over these many months — and is still happening — in the world of Ethiopian adoptions. Changes in procedures, orphanage closures, new policies, and more. All of this is good as far as ethics and transparency goes, but still makes it tough for waiting families — and most especially those waiting children, who truly need families.

For the past two years, I’ve found myself in a weird space: having to live and plan as if the adoption both will and won’t happen. We can’t put our lives on hold while we wait, so we continue to make choices and plans for our future; but at the same time, I can’t commit to anything more than four months in advance, because I’m never sure if I’ll be able to follow through. It’s been tough professionally to decide what take on when my future is so uncertain, and impossible to plan trips or projects very far down the road.

I must say I’m glad we didn’t set up the kids’ room two years ago when people told us we should, glad we never bought clothes and toys and gear — well, except for that highchair I’m now trying to sell after a momentary lapse in judgment. About the only items I’m okay living with right now are the children’s books — because books never seem to make you feel bad.

Despite all this, I’m doing okay with the wait, because I do like my life — and there’s never a dull moment around here. Also, my abiding sense through this whole thing has always been that the timing will end up being right. Yes, I’ll be an old lady, but at least I still look relatively young and I can still do this:

Counts for something, right?

We did get some good news last week: It appears we don’t have to do our entire adoption dossier over again. Music to my ears! We do need to update police clearances, medicals, and possibly the Power of Attorney forms, though. Each needs to be notarized, and the latter may need to be state certified, but if this is all I need to worry about, I’ll be singing hallelujah from here to Tennessee. (You may remember that the paperwork part of this process has always frustrated me to no end, and if I don’t have to go through it all a second time, I’ll be a very happy bambina.)

The other positive thing I can report on is the webinar that our adoption agency held the other night. It was an update based on a very recent visit they made to Ethiopia. I found it informative and actually hopeful. I’ll take that any day of the week.

Images: 1, 2 by Zoe Saint-Paul

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VIDEO: Back to the Start… and Friday Links

February 17, 2012

This Chipotle ad has making the rounds lately. The company seems to be doing fast food the right way, if that can be said. It’s been my favorite chain for a while because of its focus on local, organically raised meats. With the odd exception, I tend to eat vegetarian when I’m out if I know the chicken, beef, or pork is industrially raised. More and more places, however, are wising up to the consumer trend of wanting local and ethically raised meat, so that’s good news for eaters like me.

I’ve got a busy weekend ahead: I’m going to start packing for Spain, attend the baptism of a sweet little girl named Sophie, and spend time with my hubby on Monday because he has the day off — yay! Here are some fun items I found to share with you as we head into the weekend…

Great advice from style icon Iris Apfel (spotted on Design Mom).

Wendell E. Berry — noted poet, essayist, novelist, farmer, and conservationist — will deliver the 2012 Jefferson Lecture in the Humanities at the Kennedy Center this April, and the SlowMama crew will be there!

Great tutorial on making a citrus twist garnish.

And the Oscar goes to… a cloistered nun?

I’d love a cottage like this.

When pouring water over your toddler’s head is all you can do to stay sane.

Have a slow weekend, and see you back here on Monday!

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Love by Mail

February 16, 2012

by Margaret Cabaniss

When a close friend (who, sadly, lives far away) recently announced that she was pregnant for the first time — and didn’t have a clue what she was doing, or what to expect — my sister Amy and I immediately started thinking about what helpful items we could send her in a little care package. Of course, Amy supplied the actual knowledge of what one needs during pregnancy, while I just brought an enthusiasm for putting together care packages.

I’ve already talked about how I love getting mail, so you can imagine that getting care packages makes me straight-up giddy. When you’re a broke college student, or sick and living alone, or simply missing family and friends, finding a package brimming over with thoughtful little treats can make your week.

I still remember the best care package I ever got: I was studying abroad in Scotland and was going to be away from home at Christmas for the first time, and I told my mom that it didn’t feel like the holidays without making our annual gingerbread houses together. The next week, I got a package in the mail with all the supplies and ingredients I’d need to make the houses with my (very impressed) Scottish flat mates. It was probably the most expensive gingerbread house my mom ever put together (international shipping is not cheap, friends), but it meant the world to a homesick college student far from home.

Still, I think putting these gifts together is almost as much fun as getting them. I love picking out items that perfectly suit each person or particular situation, imagining the receiver’s face when she opens it…

For mailed packages, it helps to focus on lightweight treats (to avoid the gingerbread conundrum). When a friend of mine in another state broke her hip during a biking accident and was going to be laid up for a few weeks while she mended, I tried to find little things she could enjoy from bed: a TV series she liked on DVD, a book of crosswords, silly tabletop games, a favorite novel.

But if you’re willing to deliver your package in person, you can get a little weightier with your gifts. Just this past Christmas, another friend had to work through the holiday and wasn’t going to be able to see her family until several days later. Knowing that she wouldn’t likely stock up on treats for herself, I picked some out for her: I loaded down a basket with coffee beans, sparkling wine, chocolate, and some homemade preserves so she could still feast on her own.

There’s really no situation where a care package isn’t appreciated. Do you like sending them? What was the best care package you ever received?

Images: 1, 2, 3

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Quality Meals

February 15, 2012

What’s a quality meal? Photographer Miho Aikawa set out to explore the question in a project called Dinner in NY — a photographic series depicting the way people eat, with a focus on mealtime environments (instead of the food itself). Above is one of her subjects — 27-year-old Jessie Zinke eating dinner in her apartment after work.

Aikawa introduces her project by citing some interesting stats:

A study in Public Health Nutrition which compiles data relating to Americans’ food-related time use over the past 30 years reveals some interesting trends: Eating as a primary activity declined in the past 30 years. On the other hand, eating as a secondary activity rose dramatically in the past 30 years. When we combine the primary and secondary eating time, we see that in total we’re spending an average of 25 minutes or more minutes eating daily than we did 30 years ago. We now do almost 50 percent of our eating while concentrating on something else.

I would venture a guess that the rise in “concentrating on other things while eating” directly correlates with the increasing numbers of one- and two-person households. I know from my own experience that, once there are more than two people gathered for a meal, there’s no compelling reason to turn on a television or computer. When you’re alone, however, the screens can make you feel a little less lonely and give you a sense of making “good” use of time.

It’s important to note that Aikawa’s subjects all live in New York City, where there are many people living solo in very small spaces. I agree with Aikawa when she says that a quality meal is about more than the food; it’s also about enjoying the experience. We can enjoy mealtimes even when we’re alone, if we pay attention to how we do it.

I lived alone for many years, well before iPhones and iPads came along, and I had no TV. Having grown up in a large family, eating alone wasn’t much fun. If I couldn’t find a friend to invite over, I’d light a candle, turn on some music, sit at the table with a cloth napkin, and savor whatever was on my plate — even if it was take-out, which it was sometimes. I might occasionally read a magazine article, but oftentimes I’d try and make the time meditative and relaxing. Which isn’t easy for this extrovert to do, believe me; but it was certainly good for my digestion, and I came to really appreciate the time. (I will admit, though, had I owned a TV at the time, it probably would have been impossible to keep it turned off.)

The truth is, however, gathering around the table with others is still the best way to enjoy food. Mealtime isn’t just about nutrition but satisfying our social and emotional needs, helping us to build stronger relationships, learning the art of conversation, and experiencing — with all of our senses — the great pleasures of the table, which is one of the best things in life.

Do you agree? And how do you enjoy mealtimes?

Images by Miho Aikawa from Dinner in NY

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Checking Off the ‘Love List’

February 14, 2012

by Ann Waterman

One lazy Saturday morning back when I was a single (and lazy Saturday mornings were the norm), my roommate and I decided to compile a list of must-have qualities for our future husbands.

My list included things like athletic (preferably a triathlete like myself), financially stable, and established career. After dating around a lot — some nice guys that didn’t ignite a spark, several rubes who never got a second date, and a few real possibilities here and there that didn’t work out for one reason or another — I finally met my husband.

To my astonishment, DH (darling husband, for the uninitiated) hardly fit any of the criteria laid out in my list: He was a first-year law student saddled with lots of student loans, whose gym membership was long expired. But for some reason, after just a few weeks of dating, I knew he was the one. Unlike with past relationships, I was completely at peace: I had no nagging doubts about our relationship and felt totally like myself when I was with him. How could my visions of the ideal spouse have been so different from this person who was clearly perfect for me?

In the end, it turned out that finding the right guy wasn’t a complete accident. In the years since compiling the list, I had grown up quite a bit and learned from my dating experiences which qualities I really needed in a spouse. The criteria on my list weren’t bad in and of themselves, but many of them focused on achievements, rather than qualities. As I learned, a guy could be athletic, but he could also be a tool. He could be financially stable but emotionally volatile. He could have an established career but be a complete workaholic.

Also, my list didn’t account for the fact that love operates on its own schedule, not ours. DH was working toward a career and financial stability, but I happened to meet him — and, shortly after, married him — when he was taking steps to get there. We scraped by the first years of our marriage, but living on a budget didn’t diminish our happiness. If anything, it made us appreciate what we did have, including each other.

If a wiser and more mature Ann had to make that list over again, it would look something like this:

Family-Oriented. One of the things that impressed me about DH was how he talked enthusiastically about marriage and kids from the start of our relationship — not in a creepy, overbearing way (the kind of thing that can overwhelm a girl on a first date), but naturally, as a matter of course. It was just something he hoped would be in his future. And when we both knew that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together, he didn’t waste any time making that happen: We got engaged after dating for 9 months and were married 9 months later. As for kids, just like marriage, he was ready to jump right in — no need to check off a to-do list beforehand. His openness and enthusiasm for family expansion is especially comforting to someone like me, who sometimes struggles with change and taking big leaps. It’s easier to do when someone you love and trust is holding your hand.

Selfless. This is a corollary of sorts to family-oriented. DH has always had a clear understanding of the self-sacrifice involved with marriage and child-rearing. He prunes his sports-watching tree accordingly as family obligations increase. He pitches in with all aspects of parenting — even the least-pleasant ones, like potty-training and holding buckets for little ones with bug-ridden stomachs. In everything he does, family is his first priority.

Patient. DH has deep, deep reserves of patience — and let me tell you, it’s come in handy, especially as mine is frequently in short supply.

Supportive. I knew if I had kids, I’d stay at home to raise them. It’s something I always felt convicted about, and DH was completely supportive. He appreciates the slow lifestyle it allows us to lead, even though it means fewer material pleasures for us; he values the trade-off. That support extends to all my endeavors, including my decision to train for a half marathon a couple of years ago. He was so supportive, in fact, that he decided to do the race as well — and smoked me by a full 25 minutes. So much for thinking my husband didn’t fit the “athletic” bill!

Funny. I’m not particularly funny, but I appreciate someone who is, like my husband. I can be a little serious sometimes, and there’s nothing like a humorous zing from DH to defuse a frustrating situation or remind me not to take myself too seriously.

This list isn’t exhaustive by any stretch, but it’s a few of the things I cherish most about my husband. Valentine’s Day is a good day to share it.

What qualities do you cherish most about your other half?

Images: Ann Waterman

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Citrus Power

February 13, 2012

Growing up, my siblings and I always found oranges at the bottom of our Christmas stockings. The fruit was considered a rare treat when my mother was little, and she carried the tradition over with her children. I still do it now — leaving an orange or clementine or nectarine.

I love all citrus fruits, and I’m jealous when my sister Clara calls from her San Luis Obispo home in California to tell me that her lemon tree is stacked. I don’t drink much juice, but I do occasionally relish a fresh-squeezed glass of OJ, especially for brunch; I also use blood oranges in my winter salads, plus lemons and limes in all kinds of other dishes.

The flavors and colors of citrus brighten up the gray and cold winter months; oranges and greens, yellows and reds are just what the doctor ordered when it’s mid-February and spring feels far away. Sure, lemons, limes, and Valencia oranges are at their peak in summer months, but some varieties — especially oranges — ripen during winter months in places like California, Arizona, and Florida.

I love when citrus is used in floral arrangements — and in home decor generally. The simplest way to do it is to find a pretty bowl and arrange your citrus inside. Add some pomegranates and maybe a few apples or pears. Placing the fruit where you can see it makes it more likely that you and your family will reach for a piece, rather than dipping your hands into the cookie jar. The colorful arrangement may not last this way, but sunny, juicy citrus at any time of year should never be wasted.

Do you appreciate citrus during winter months?

Images by Amy Merrick, as seen on Design*Sponge

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Shoes for Spain…and Friday Links

February 10, 2012

The countdown is on: Just a little over two weeks and I’m off to Spain. My current dilemma? Shoes. I have the loveliest dress to wear — loaned to me by the bride herself — but it’s a tough one to match…plus I want to pack light, so I’d like to be able wear the shoes for more than the wedding. I’ve scoured every online store, and so far I’ve ordered a few and sent them back. I’m waiting for one more to come, hoping this is the magic pair.

Shoe problem numero dos is what shoes to wear for my every day walking around: traveling, exploring Madrid, hopping trains. You won’t catch me dead in running shoes unless I’m in a gym — especially in Europe — but you also won’t find me in four-inch heels, because my need for comfort is too great. Plus, I don’t want to lose my shoes if I need to evacuate a plane in a hurry. (Yes, I think about things like that. It’s fun to be me.)

So, if you’ve got any ideas for comfortable shoes that are versatile and not too casual, pass them on.

Do you have any exciting plans for the weekend? While I get ready to spend the afternoon today with a close friend and her baby boy, I want to share some items I found this week:

Here’s a great movie to rent with your favorite Valentine.

Yet another family tossing out their TV.

The perfect hat for your baby to wear when you’re breastfeeding!

Great gift idea: Citrus salt from Heidi Swanson.

This article on French parenting has been making the rounds — what do you think?

Have a slow weekend, and see you back here on Monday!

Image: Mark Cannon, National Geographic

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Taking Back Valentine’s Day

February 9, 2012

by Margaret Cabaniss

Until recently, I was what you might call a Valentine’s Day Hater. I was That Person who, at the mere mention of pink hearts and roses, would roll her eyes so hard they’d be in danger of falling out, and then proceed to tell you all the ways Valentine’s Day was terrible: the commercialism, the cutesyness, the forced declarations of affection…I may have even uttered the phrase “conspiracy of the greeting card companies,” I can’t be sure.

These weren’t just the ravings of a bitter single girl, mind: In those seasons when I had a beau during V-Day, I would take particular pains to make sure the date was never mentioned between us. No flowers, no candy, no cards. I was a woman on a mission.

Thankfully, I think I’ve mellowed a bit in my old(er) age. Oh, Valentine’s Day is still as crassly commercial as ever — as this gross Teleflora Super Bowl ad so helpfully demonstrates, love is apparently transactional! — but it doesn’t have to be. When we were kids, Valentine’s Day was about sharing small tokens of “like” with everyone…so why can’t it still be that way now? Making it a day for homemade treats, thoughtful cards, little gifts that say “hooray for you!”…I can get behind that.

As a girl who was recently complaining about the dearth of good holidays in late winter, I’m ready to make a few accommodations for a little good cheer, cutesy though it may be. In that vein, I rounded up a few fun projects and treats to make the day a little brighter (and hopefully a little less eye-rolly).

I will use any flimsy excuse at hand to bake tasty treats, and these white-and-dark chocolate brownies are more than enough reason to get me on board with Valentine’s Day:

Normally I’d say jewelry on Valentine’s Day is cliched, but that does not apply when the jewelry is edible, as with these gumball necklackes. This would be such a hit with the littles (via Knock Knocking):

I made these little matchbox Valentines for my nieces and nephews once, and I’m not sure who had more fun with them — the kids or me. I found an old Anthropologie catalog (which can always be relied on for great colors and pics) and went to town wrapping my tiny boxes. Their teenyness made them that much more adorable:

I also whipped up a few of these lavender sachets one year for my sisters. It was a dead-easy project for me and a sweet surprise for them. Win win.

I may just make this brown sugar lip scrub as a gift to myself this year:

Lastly, if you’re one of those schmoopsy romantic types who loves Valentine’s Day and doesn’t care who knows it…well, at least make your declaration of love original. This message in a bottle is sweet without being saccharine: