When I read this post by Amy Hackworth over at Design Mom last week about thinking versus doing, it resonated with me, since it’s a topic I deal with a lot in my life-coaching work.
Most clients who come to me are stuck and want change in some area of their lives — work, relationships, organizational habits, health — and they either don’t know where to start or their previous attempts have failed. (They may not even fully know where or why they’re stuck; they just know something isn’t right, and they’ve finally grown tired of it.)
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from working with people, it’s that making change is all about doing — just taking action. This was an interesting lesson for me, because I’m such a big fan of thinking. In fact, when I was little, I actually created to-do lists for my weekends that included “thinking time” — pretty funny, given that we lived in the middle of nowhere without a television, and I had plenty of unstructured time. But there was something satisfying about setting aside a specific part of my day to contemplate life’s big questions without interruption.
That’s not the the kind of thinking I’m taking about here, though (in fact, we could use a lot more time for reflection and contemplation in our busy lives). When it comes to tackling problems or making decisions, our problem is often over-thinking. And it’s a poison. Over-thinking gives us the illusion that we’re getting somewhere, when really we’re just spinning our wheels — and those wheels can carve a rut so deep that, before we know it, months and even years have gone by, and we haven’t budged an inch.
Taking action is easier said than done (as you may well know), because so many things can get in our way — usually the very things that have prevented us from acting in the first place: fear of failure, fear of pain, confusion, perfectionism, bad habits. The good news is that these can be overcome, worked through, navigated around — and I’ve helped enough clients now to know it can be done.
When you’re stuck in over-thinking mode, the most important thing is to move. Use some of the energy spent on over-thinking to take one small step. You may not know where you’re going, but start moving anyway: The tiniest action can begin to propel you forward and provide momentum for the next step. Really, it’s all about these baby steps, as cliche as it sounds. (And, of course, hiring a coach is never a bad idea, if you’re truly sick and tired of being stuck.)
Do you tend to over-think problems? Have you ever been stuck in some area of your life? What helps you take action?
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Hello, I'm Zoe Saint-Paul. I'm a writer, life coach, and new mama to twins who's trying to live "slower" in a speed-obsessed world. Here we chat about life and love, food and design, and everything in between -- all at the right pace. So grab some tea, pull up a chair, and join the conversation. Feel free to 
I’m an over-thinker! When I find myself in that moment, I immediately focus on something else to take me out of the anxiety feeling I get from over-thinking. It doesn’t have to be a BIG thing before I find I have gone over every bit. It could regard a visit, conversations I have had, flying (especially), new furniture for the house, a gift, lighting we desperately need for the home now and I can’t move forward on that decision, I could go on and on.
Sound like you might ruminate as well as over-think — the former is common when we’re just anxious or nervous about something we’re doing/going to do. And I can relate! Distraction is a big help.
I was doing temp work in a law firm when I was in college. As a history major with no obvious career path, I was weary of the eternal, “but what will you DO with that major” question. One of the attorneys I was helping gave me great advice that I’d always remembered. He said, “it doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you do something.” Taken out of context, this could be misapplied to unethical decisions, clear mistakes, etc. But he meant it from the perspective of figuring out what to do with your life. As trite as it sounds, in many ways I think it was the best advice I ever received… and it certainly has helped with my inclination to over-think, which could easily have led to various forms of life-paralysis!
That’s great advice — a “figure it out as you go” kind of thing, which keeps you moving and learning, rather than staying stuck *thinking* about it forever.
“If there is an end for all we do, it will be the good achievable by action.”
Aristotle
“To live well is to work well, to show a good activity.”
Thomas Aquinas
Good post Zoe! I need a lot more action in my life. Too frequently I find myself suffering from the same malady as the Elephant Man, who said, “Sometimes my head gets so full I think it’s going to explode.”
I hope your head never explodes — there’s too much good stuff in there
Chiming in to join the over-thinker brigade… I definitely know about spinning your wheels and creating ruts that are harder and harder to bust out of. I’ve found that talking it over with someone else — even if only to say, “I’m stuck!” — works wonders; just acknowledging the problem out loud is a kind of progress. Making detailed to-do lists, breaking down even the tiniest steps, helps, too — and there’s nothing more satisfying than scratching something off the list. Like you said, even the smallest steps are progress!
I’ve also noticed that exercise seems to help, too. I like to joke that big or difficult jobs just make me want to lie down, but there’s some truth in it: Overwhelming problems can be almost physically oppressive and make you feel like you can’t accomplish anything. Going for a run instead helps clear my head and reminds me that, yes, actually, I can do something, and I actually am moving — which gives me the mental and physical boost I need to get moving on other things.
I like that idea of physical exercise/movement helping us to move in other ways. Helps on so many levels!
This post really resonates with me, especially since I am falling into the Seasonal Affective Disorder side of things over here. And what Margaret said is such good advice and also works for me. Even if it is just to go for a walk outside, this often gives me momentum in an area where I feel stuck. Great topic, ladies!
Ugh. I over-think! I also get paralyzed with options. For example, in the health realm I am trying to navigate the medical world. But I’ve started to research holistic approaches because the standard medical protocols aren’t working for me. Once you start going down that road you realize how many choices and how much information we have. Oddly that overwhelms me.. Coconut oil or cod liver oil or Vitamin B or D or E? Oh my.