Seventeen weeks ago today, we came home with S and H. They continue to make enormous strides on all fronts. There are days when we feel as though we’ve gone backwards a bit, but then we’re reminded it has only been four months, and there are inevitably going to be challenges and adjustments for a while.
B and I are constantly marveling at these two. I don’t know if we’ve met two little girls with more personality and spunk. Lately, we can’t stop talking about how similar they are to us, and it’s the little things we get the biggest kick out of — like the fact that S hates butter (like B), while H saves the last bite of something and then wraps it up for later (like yours truly). S has our weird and wacky sense of humor, and H has my taste for strange, healthy snack foods. S is affectionate like her Dad and social like me; H is stubborn as a mule (like me) and brainy like her Dad. Of course, they’re also unique little beings who can’t be compared to anyone, but I think it’s a natural part of bonding to identify your own traits in your children.
Despite how well it’s going, by the end of the week, I’m always ready for a little “me” time. Tonight I’m stealing 90 minutes to have drinks with an old friend who just moved to town. If I could, I’d order the drink I’m offering today, in honor of Mardi Gras (which Mags just wrote about). This spiced rum milk punch by Abigail Gullo calls for New Orleans Cajun Spice Rum, making it all the more authentic. (I bet this could also be made with a nut milk and be just as good.)
So with milk punch in hand, here’s my high and low of the week — and once again, they’re tied together…
Low: My anxiousness about taking the girls to have their blood drawn. I was planning to do it before Christmas, but they had bad colds; then Christmas was upon us; then we were all sick again in January. Suddenly February was here, and I knew I just had to get it done. I was so nervous that at least one of them would have a complete meltdown and refuse to go through with it and I’d be dragging both of them kicking and screaming back to the car. But…
High: …they each sat on my lap and didn’t even flinch! (It helped that my awesome friend Abby met us there in case I needed backup.) The techs told me they’ve never seen little kids handle it so well! I felt a little bad for deceiving them, though: I told them mommy had to get a blood test, which I did, but I left out the part about their needing to get one, too.
This week’s bonus question: If you could have any first name but your own, what would you choose? I think I’d go with my middle name, actually — Alexandra.
Okay, your turn… High? Low? And how about your alias?
Image: Zoe Saint-Paul
Hello, I'm Zoe Saint-Paul. I'm a writer, life coach, and new mama to twins who's trying to live "slower" in a speed-obsessed world. Here we chat about life and love, food and design, and everything in between -- all at the right pace. So grab some tea, pull up a chair, and join the conversation. Feel free to 
Hooray for brave little girls! I know you’re relieved to have that over with…
Also, I love milk punch and will take the entire bowl, thanks. My high this week: The Ravens winning the Super Bowl, obviously. Low: Trying to make a treat for my sister’s birthday that I cook all the time, and having it fail on me not once, but twice. Fortunately, the third time was the charm, but dang, that was a lot of wasted time and effort. Boo.
BQ: I’ve got no name in mind that I’d rather be…which is funny, because I get called every permutation of “Margaret” under the sun. Maybe the fact that my own name is so flexible is the reason I like it so much to begin with.
It is pretty neat to have a name with so many permutations.
Ok I’ll start with the bonus question…. Anne Shirley wanted to be called Cordelia, I wish my name was Clare or Katherine or Grace. But since I am Kathleen I insist on no nicknames or –as Margaret says– permutations, except very good friends call me Kath, and I’m fine with that.
Low: Finding a dead mouse in the middle of my kitchen floor in the middle of the afternoon and having no one to remove it, but myself. Worse than any Downton Abbey death scene.
High: Feeling completely unselfconscious about the copious amount of dark chocolate I’ve been feeding my family before Lent starts. It’s been fat Tuesday all week long in this house!
Anne Shirley! How I know those stories well. Can’t wait for my girls to eventually read them. And yes to lots of dark chocolate. Two more days to get it all in!
Wow, Zoe. Just the fact that you explained that you needed a blood test and they understood… THAT speaks volumes about how much their comprehension has progressed. I wish I could learn (anything) so fast! What a lovely description of the people who they are and who you are as a family, too.
Low: Flu hit me. Left work early and shivered in bed with my girls each taking turns holding my hand. (That was sweet.)
High: With the help of ibuprofen, I hosted our kids’ monthly book club today. Activities and then discussion about a new favorite that I’d never read before, “My Side of the Mountain.” We came to two lovely conclusions about the author’s message: the nature of change (mixed emotions, but necessary) and “change yourself, and the world changes too.” Much truth and wisdom and renewed appreciation for the awesome kids who helped us arrive at those new understandings.
Name. I like my name, I like my daughter’s names. I like your name – we almost gave it to our oldest. I could take any of those or perhaps the name I chose for my confirmation name: Elizabeth.
I think I forgot that you almost used my name. And guess what? I think we’re using your name for one of our girls’ middle names. They don’t have middle names yet – we have to finalize their adoption paperwork in a couple months and at that time change all the paperwork.
Sounds like your girls could teach my boys a thing or two about how to handle needles!
I’ll take the special!
Low: My 2 year old has been getting into everything lately and it’s a real challenge to keep up.
High: My 7 year old has been really helpful lately without even being prompted. It makes my heart swell with love and gratitude.
BQ: I’ve always liked German names so maybe Ingrid or Gretchen.
Not many people say that, Ann. But I think those names are pretty cool.
My week’s low? Well, it’s complicated, but it would be trying to find a decent balance with my son’s birth family. It’s a long, complicated, rather sad story and, given that it’s not really my story, mostly it’s not mine to share. Still, I’ve spent a lot of time this week grieving details that I’ve learned about my child’s pre-adoption history and drifting between anger and sorrow. I guess, I’m really struggling with allowing these individuals to have any interaction with my son, but at the same time I need to ensure that I don’t reject relationships that he could benefit from or want access to in the future. Blah!
My high? A snow day meant that I got to drop my child off at school and pick him up at the end of the day rather than having him bus-ed to and from daycare. He was so excited to see me waiting for him and ran down the sidewalk and climbed up my body and into my arms to hug me. It’s a good thing I’m short and there was so much snow that falling wasn’t a serious concern because I was so totally “squishy” that there was a risk I’d just tumble over with him. (It doesn’t help that he’s growing like a little weed!)
I don’t know that I’d want to be called something else. I like my name and it’s me. However, if I needed a new name, I’d probably go with the French version of my name to support my heritage.
Sounds like that was a tough low, Elizabeth, but that high is extra sweet.
That picture of your daughters is so sweet and I love that they surprised you by being so brave with the needles.
My low: Caring for a very sick child.
My high: Having my daughter tell me I’m the boss and not Dada because he’s short – for the record I’m 5’2″ and my husband is 6’2″ so she has to be the only person alive that thinks I’m taller than just about anyone.
Alias – probably one of my daughter’s names since I did spend an awfully long time choosing them.
Obviously, your bigness (and therefore authority) is all about your heart to your daughter. That’s what awesome about kids – they see differently.
17 weeks, huh? Amazing! I love that you’re seeing similarities to you and B. I think adoption is a great test of the whole nature vs. nurture debate, even with children adopted AFTER much of their personalities have developed. Love it.
Let’s see… My low this week was breaking down after visiting a couple of possible day care providers for K. They were absolutely fine (but I don’t think either one were the right spot) but K was so uncomfortable it made me really worry about how she will handle the transition. I know all working mothers go through this but I have to believe adoptive moms might have it a little tougher. After all, we are already her 4th set of caregivers in her short little life.
My high was probably having a successful family evening at our friends’ house, which involved K in pajamas and actually going to sleep at their house! I was afraid this would not go well, but our amazing girl did, well, amazing. We even got her home and back to bed without a fuss. Awesome!
The name I’ve always really loved is Cecelia… although I don’t think that would fit me very well. Perhaps Elizabeth, which is my middle name (and a family name for generations).
Oof, Kelly, that low made me wince. I can only imagine. I hope you find just the right fit. I’m sure it will be very tough at first — but she’ll get used to the routine and has proven herself very adaptable so far. Plus, she’ll still in in your company most of the week.
Cecilia is such a pretty name.
I love reading about your girls and how they are progressing!
My low – Dealing with lice. My boys got short haircuts but my daughter’s long hair was another story. How is it we still have lice in today’s day and age?
My high – Having dinner at Pebble Beach with my husband, also named B.
Name change – I actually like my name Bobbi. The first born was to be named after my dad, boy or girl. But I’d change my middle name. My mom thought of making it Lynn after her own middle name, which I would have loved. Instead she gave me Ann since the priest told my parents I needed a saint name to be baptized.